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I ain’t paying for this

Have you ever been looking for something for weeks, months or even years? Then after all this searching, you find just what you were looking for. It was meant for you, right? You know your friends are going to be jealous because you were the first to find one. You can’t wait to show off.


You take it home and as you get ready to try it on, you notice that it may have been worn before. Of course you say to yourself, this was probably from when someone else was trying it on. It’s yours now, so what?


After modeling in the mirror for a minute, you notice it… a stain! You think it’s really not that noticeable, or at least that’s what you tell yourself. You have waited too long and looked everywhere for this, plus, it’s a perfect fit.


The Tide wipes don’t work and you don’t want to damage it anymore because you’ll get stuck with it. You decide to accessorize a bit to try to hide the stain, but it’s still obvious. Then you think if you ignore it and don’t point it out, then others won’t notice. Right!


You meet your girls and they all look at you strange. You wonder if they are jealous or if they see the stain. They keep looking at you and your prized possession and whispering. You get paranoid, then aggravated. Why don’t they just say it to your face?!?! Isn’t that what “friends” do? They are supposed to accept that everything ain’t perfect. They overlook the flaws and focus on the positive. That’s what you did when you realized that he, I mean “it” had a past… Right? That he was stained!


But now you are paying for it. His extra money goes to two other women to pay for his kids. Every weekend, he has one of the kids so there’s no time for you. This is a big stain and you can’t get past it to see the beauty in him and the responsibility he takes as a man. Instead, you focus on the stains.


What now? You’ve invested time. Is it too late to move on? Are you committed to pay for his stained past?


But wait… You got your own stains! You found him when you were praying that your credit card wouldn’t get declined because of your bad credit. He came in and immediately became a role model for your daughter when her father was nowhere to be found. How dare you not forgive his past when you have one yourself?


Often, we create unrealistic and unachievable requirements when we are looking for a significant other. We think that our poo poo don’t stink so why should we just accept anyone.


Now, I’m not saying that you should settle, because I didn’t and never would. We deserve better than settling.


What I am saying is that we often overlook the perfect person because they are missing something on the checklist. You know the list. Tall, handsome, successful (rich and willing to spend it on you and your kids), no kids, spiritual, a man’s man/thug, sensitive to your needs, romantic, athletic… Should I continue?


Look for genuine qualities that will get you through the challenges in life. Remember that beauty and good looks fade, success can be short lived, but finding the one who is there for you no matter what is invaluable and doesn’t always come in the package that you think it will.

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