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I don’t owe you anything

Recently, I was watching an episode of Real Housewives of Atlanta and heard a man say something that made me cringe and want to jump through the TV (though I must admit this show often makes me cringe). Bob Whitfield, an ex-NFL player was confronted by his ex-wife, Sheree Whitfield about the fact that he had not paid child support in four years. His response was simply that he didn’t owe her anything for his kids and that she needs to keep working hard to provide for them. When she threatened to take him to court which would mean guaranteed jail time in Georgia, his response was “do whatcha you gotta do… I’ll be waiting for them at my door.”

Did he really say that… on TV… on a show watched by 2.9 million viewers? What kind of man are you?

Unfortunately, he said on national TV what many men believe and practice every day.

I understand you are no longer in that relationship. The love is gone. It’s been replaced by hate because that’s the only way you know how to deal with your emotions from the pain of disappointment and failure. I get it. Hatred is a great shield to hide behind. Hatred gives you free license to hurt them and exact revenge.

Obviously, you don’t owe her anything. She is no longer your responsibility or obligation.

What about your kids? Should they be penalized too? Do they need to hurt too because you and their mom couldn’t be civil and work through your differences? Is this the example of responsibility you want your children to follow? Is this the example of commitment that was set by your parents? Is your love for your children less than your hatred for their mom?

C’mon men! This attitude and behavior reminds me of the kid that gets mad on the playground and takes his ball home so the other kids can’t finish the game. Is this behavior justified?

We need to step up and be men, instead of boys. We need to stop being selfish and start being selfless. We need to stop making excuses and blaming others for our own shortcomings and insecurities. We need to stop and think about the impact of our actions on generations to come.

You owe it to yourself to do everything you can for your children. You owe them your time, your money, your support, your guidance and most of all your unconditional love and unconditional forgiveness. Don’t let their mom or your ego get in the way of you being a dad.  Be the absolute best example of a man for your children… better yet for ALL children.

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